A crush can be one of the most exciting and most terrifying things in the whole world. A simple look from someone you are crushing on can make your whole world light up. They also can disappoint you more than anyone else. We often build pedestals to place our crushes on. The higher we place them, the harder they can fall, taking our expectations crashing down with them.
My friend Anna and I are in two very different stages of crush, but both are relevant. I am in the giddy new crush phase. You know, you can’t get the boy out of your head, and you try to orchestrate ways to run into him, all while looking your best. Let’s call this new boy Bamma for now because his crystal blue eyes derive from the great state of Alabama. I could swoon just thinking about his slightly shaggy dark hair that looks so touchable that I can’t help but want to run my fingers through it.
Bamma is trouble. He is all pearly whites, witty remarks, and a southern drawl that could melt butter. He is trouble because he is so swoon worthy. Did I mention he gives the best hugs? The long, tight bear hug kind in which every part of you is touching - a true embrace. I think, just maybe, he might kind of like me too. I could be wrong. He is probably just a flirt, but I prefer to be optimistic. See, that is the thing about a crush before they crush you, they are the definition of possibility.
Anna on the other hand is recovering from the fall, the crushing realization that your cute boy of choice is a complete ass. This happens in all different ways: their undisclosed girlfriend comes into the picture; they say something really terrible to you; they turn out to be a bad kisser/ bad in bed; or in Anna’s case they are both bad in bed and a complete ass wipe. Long story short (since it is not my story to tell), Anna had been flirting for weeks with the very cute boy in the outer circle of our circle of friends. Finally, Friday night he made a move, and, with my encouragement, (I literally jumped up and down clapping in the bathroom) she decided to see if her crush was all he was cracked up to be.
It wasn’t the glorious, romantic encounter that we all think about having with our crush. It wasn’t hot, steamy, and dirty either. He was lazy, unengaged, and didn’t stay the night. He was the definition of a douche bag. We had all taken his quiet demeanor as him being shy, when really he just was too much of a tool to have anything to talk about.
So, as I am riding my euphoric high of crushing hard, Anna is dealing with the aftermath of disappointment. The thing is, I know I am probably setting myself up for the same thing Anna is going through, yet I am excited about Bamma anyway. I have been crushed by the disappointment of many cute boys in my day, but I still let myself get giddy and excited. Some people say it isn’t worth the risk, but I have to disagree. I would rather continue to be open, because one of these days, one of these boys, is going to work out. When that day comes it will all be worth it. Is that boy Bamma? Who knows!?! Maybe, maybe not. All I know is I am willing to take the risk.
No comments:
Post a Comment