One of my New Year’s resolutions was to be a better friend. When writing that, I didn’t know that I would lose a friend this year. Over a week ago, a dear friend of mine from college left this earth. He took his own life. It is something I will never understand, but I am choosing to find some good in this tragedy. It was a wake up call to appreciate the people in my life more, reach out more, and never take anyone for granted.
Friendships, relationships of any kind, take work to maintain. Picking up the phone, sending a text, email, facebook message or gchat, and planning a get-together are all things that take just a short amount of time and make all the difference in the world. I vow to work to enrich my friendships.
Tell the people in your life you love them. My mother, to this day, does not hang up the phone, say goodnight or goodbye without telling me she loves me. If you feel it, you should say it; because you never know if you will get another chance to do so. It is something I don’t tell my friends enough, so here it goes.
To the loves of my life: Chloe, Katie, Bee, BethAnn, Vivian, Skylar, Mary, Lisa, Connor, Claire, Tori, Betsy, May, Farah, and Elle thank you for being there for me. Thank you for putting up with my neuroses, chattiness, and overall drama-filled life. Each of you bring something different into my life and without you, neither my life, nor I, would be the same. As our friendships continue to grow and change, I truly hope that we grow together and not apart.
Thank you for sharing your lives with me, for challenging me, for supporting me, and for making me laugh. It is a true honor to be able to call each of you my friend.
There is a very important person in my life that has yet to be mentioned here. I feel a little guilty that one of my greatest sounding boards and very best friends has been left out for so long.
Connor and I have known eachother since we were 14 years old. We aren’t from the same home town, but we did partake in the same dorky statewide youth and government program. We ended up at the same SEC school and would hang out in spurts over the 4 years we were there. We became truly close when we both ended up in DC, he for Grad school and me for following my political aspirations. I even lived with Connor for two weeks while trying to get things in order for my big move.
Now, I can’t imagine my life without Connor. I can count on him for anything. From a set of eyes on my newest story to a set of hands when I’m moving, he is always there when I need him. Whether he knows it or not he is my rock. Just knowing that he is a text, gchat, or cab ride away, makes home not seem so far and losing myself seem impossible. Connor sees me in a way that I often wish I could see myself. He doesn’t judge me for my often terrible decisions or my neurotic tendencies, loves me because of them. In his own words I am, “the most wonderful modern woman I [Connor] have the pleasure of knowing!” He saves me from my own self doubt.
Some of my favorite nights in DC include Connor. Whether he is saving me from Mason Inn, helping me close down Molly Malone’s, or drinking wine with me on the couch, I know the night will be memorable. We have the ideal girl/ guy friendship. We can talk about anything under the sun. No topic is off limits. We are enough alike, yet very different, so it is never boring. And most importantly there is no awkward sexual tension between us. If we were ever going to get together it would have happened a long time ago. Like on the bus to Spring Formal freshman year of college, or when I lived and shared a bathroom with him for two weeks. It is so refreshing to be able to genuinely care about a member of the opposite sex without any pretenses or worries.
We have a pact. If we are both still single at 35 then we will get married. We would have beautiful blue eyed babies and throw amazing parties. My mother would love nothing more. We would just have to get really drunk to have sex for the first time. In all reality I could not marry someone that doesn’t get along with Connor. He’ll be Uncle Connor to my kids someday.
I think sometimes we take for granted the friendships that come easily, the ones without the drama, the ones that don’t have to be worked at. These are the truly great friendships of our lives. No matter how much time has passed since the last time you spoke you pick up right where you left off, and you never ever stop caring about one another.
To Connor, my unsuspecting rock and best friend. Thank you for supporting my neurotic tendencies and always being my partner in crime. You are the definition of a modern gentleman and truly a catch. Never stop being you!
Hello 2013! I hope you bring great happiness and wonderful adventures. 2012 was full of twists and turns, heartbreak and hope, laughter and tears. I know, I am a little late to the game to post in 2013. Things have been a bit crazy so far.
There is almost an overwhelming amount of new in this new year. New job, new apartment, new haircut, new boys, just so much new! It has been a whirlwind! I am just trying to wrap my head around all the changes. So let’s start from the beginning.
New Year’s Eve I put on a sparkly dress and went with Katie to a house party. (Stefan did not include me in his plans.) This house was incredible - they even had a DJ. Champagne, drinking games, and a hot dance floor made the minutes until midnight a blast. I had a lovely midnight kiss from the smoking hot host. Unfortunately, Hottie Host had to get back to his hosting duties, and I was left to my own devices. We all know that can be dangerous! While Katie and I were burning up the dance floor, I was taking a boy inventory. There was this one guy that caught my eye with his great smile and Mr. Rogers sweater. I shook my curvy ass over there and asked Ryker to dance. After steaming up the dance floor, we made our way to the porch to cool down.
How a boy kisses you for the first time says a lot about him. I like it when a guy reads the signals correctly and just goes for it. Ryker was on the right page for sure. As we were talking rather close he slipped his arm around my waist, pulled me in, and pressed his lips against mine. I was hooked as we melted into each other. We spent the rest of the party making out like teenagers on the back porch, oblivious to the fact that the party was clearing out inside. At the end of the night, Katie and I left our boys-of-the-night behind, but not before Ryker got my number. He didn’t wait long to use it either. His text saying he wished he was still kissing me made my first dreams of 2013 euphoric.
So, 2013 started off with a little romance and that gave me hope. As everything seems to be changing in my life, I am excited for the possibilities. I ended 2012 a complete mess, but as 2013 kicks off I am putting my life back together. I am starting down a new career path, I have moved into my own little shoebox of a studio, and I am doing my best to leave the ghosts of 2012 where they belong, in the past.
