Reckless

Sometimes making a spontaneous, poor decision is needed.  After over thinking every aspect of your life, sometimes you just need to do something without thinking.  Being spontaneous can remind yourself that you are still young and free.  That is how I found myself waking up in a hotel room in Rosslyn Saturday morning.  I made out with a beautiful Air Force officer from Georgia - they always seem to be from Georgia!  

I casually sipped my wine waiting for the Air Man and his friend to approach me; I couldn't wait to flirt with him.  There was a reason I let Elle leave me at the bar when she got tired.  I noticed their group when they walked into the bar, and I was in need of some male attention, especially from someone new.   

I don’t know why I decided to ride the metro to Rosslyn with him when I was a block away from my apartment.  Maybe it was the offer to help him pack and make out that seemed so appealing.  I liked that he was drawing a line in the sand, so I wouldn’t have to.  Maybe it was his crystal blue eyes that popped against his tan skin.  Or maybe, just maybe, it was the idea of being reckless, the idea of adventure, that made me get on that train.  Whatever it was, at the time, I wasn’t giving it any thought.  The Air Man was leaving in the morning, so we only had that night.  

Holding hands on the metro and walking through his hotel lobby - it all seemed so much like a movie.  It wasn’t until we were in the elevator that he told me he had a girlfriend back home.  I guess the guilt was sinking in.  It was now 3am and I was at a hotel in Rosslyn.  After contemplating the fact that getting home would be nearly impossible at that point, I went into his hotel room to help him pack.  There are two beds, and after telling him that he brought me there under false pretenses, I climbed in my own bed, wearing my slip.  

As he walks to his bed in his boxer briefs, I realize staying in my own bed would be harder than I thought, especially since we had already kissed.  The Air Man was hot, chiseled, and lean.  In the dark, we began to talk, and he invited me to join him in his bed, just to make out.  I was torn.  In so many ways, the damage was already done.  He had already kissed me and invited me to his hotel room.  I threw my moral girl code to the wind and climbed in bed with the most beautiful man I have ever let kiss me.  

Things got heated, but we never crossed the ultimate line.  My slip never came off, even if my bra did.  As the sun came through the window, the guilt came with it.  I layed there for a while, not quite ready to face the shame of leaving a hotel in my clothes from the night before.  When I did slip out of bed, I grabbed my things and tiptoed to the bathroom.  After reassembling myself, and brushing my teeth with my finger I emerged not knowing what to say.  The Air Man didn’t either.  He couldn’t get up because his boxers were across the room, which, for the record, I don't remember happening.  I could tell he hated himself for cheating, and I felt like an evil temptress.  

After the most awkward goodbye in the history of goodbyes, I made my way to the cab line.  My attempt at being spontaneous had resulted in me choosing something I had never chosen before.  I had chosen to be the other woman, fulling knowing that some girl back in Georgia would be broken hearted if she ever knew.  Not even with D, someone I have said I love you to, have I crossed the physical line once I knew another girl existed.  Maybe it was because unlike every other time, I knew I wouldn’t run into him at the frat house, student union, the bar, or the Longworth Cafeteria.  I will never see him ever again.  I won’t have to run into, and be reminded of, my indiscretion.  

I was spontaneous and reckless.  I had fun.  I just hope I didn’t wreck some poor girl’s heart.