Relationship Girl?

I am a relationship girl who is never in a relationship.  In college, no one ever wanted me to be their girlfriend.  When you go to a school notorious for being the beauty queen school, it’s hard to stand out.  Even though I am the kind of girl you’d want to take home to mom, I never landed a boyfriend.  Instead, I ended up having one night stands and fuck buddies to ease the loneliness.  I loved twice in college, neither of them were people I dated.  In true Harper fashion, they were just very complicated, very emotionally-charged, very fucked-up friendships.  For instance, this guy and I continued to say, “I love you” to each other for over a year and a half, yet we were never “together”.  My love life in DC has not been much better.  Outside of the complicated situation with D, I’ve loved once.  The details of these relationships are irrelevant now.  What is relevant is the fact that I want a real relationship at this point in my life.  I want the small things; I deserve to know what they are like.  

I look forward to the day when a guy can’t wait to wake up next to me.  I mean a weekday, when morning sex is not in the picture, and I probably have on an oversized t-shirt.  He should be just as excited to start his day with me as I am with him.  He will know that I like to cuddle as I fall asleep, separate in the middle of the night, and as morning comes find my way back to him.    

I look forward to making space in the medicine cabinet and the closet for him to leave a few things.  I will even keep old-fashioned, non-flowery soap in the shower so he doesn’t smell girly when he goes to work.  I will throw some of his laundry in with mine, but he is on his own when it comes to ironing.  I will even cook him dinner, but he better help with the dishes.     

I want Sundays on the couch watching football together, even if we are pulling for different teams.  It’s okay if we fight over what to buy at the grocery store, what movie to watch, or whether to order red or white wine with dinner.  Perfection is not reality and I am just looking for reality.   

He will know so much about me, like I am cranky when I am hungry, and he should give me juice when I am hungover.  I sometimes snore in my sleep, but he should never bring that up.  If he leaves the toilet seat up, I will get pissed.  I know I am high-maintenance, and that is never going to change.  I paint my nails about 3 times a week and am useless for about an hour afterwards.  I watch a lot of television, and some pretty bad television at that.  I am who I am.  It took me a very long time to figure out and accept myself.  I am only looking for people in my life that support who I am.  I know my quirks may aggravate him sometimes, and I know we will fight.  Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you like them all the time, and that's okay.   

Everywhere I look, I see people in relationships, but I don’t know how they end up in them.  What makes them more worthy of Sunday brunch and pillow talk?  I am 25 and have never been in a real, adult relationship.  Is it too late for me?  Have I reached the point where I am not long-term relationship worthy?  Do the relationship types look at me and know that I have no idea what I am doing?  Will I ever be someone’s girlfriend?