Showing posts with label chubby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chubby. Show all posts

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Bombshell

I feel like because I am curvy, I have to be sexy.  If I am not sexy, then I am just fat.  Society has very distinct images of what is sexy.  They even photo shop already thin actresses to set unrealistic expectations for women.  But there is an exception to that stereotype - the bombshell.  

When you hear the word bombshell, you probably think of classic beauties like Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, and Elizabeth Taylor.  If you were to google the term you would be directed to also: pin-up girl, sex symbol, super model, blonde stereotype.  Hollywood bombshells of 1940s -1960s were recognized for their hourglass figures, their large breasts, sex appeal, and originally their blondness.  

The bombshells of today like Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, and Christina Hendricks are beautiful, curvy women. They epitomize the busty, sassy idea that the bombshell has become.  The question is, what makes an average girl a bombshell? Is it boobs and an ass? Is there a certain demeanor needed? What is the factor that makes a women a bombshell because she is curvy, instead of just being overweight and invisible?

I asked some men what they thought a bombshell was.  One said, “Someone who is genuinely beautiful, both inside and out, and has the personality to match. Also, is someone everyone wants.”  Another gentleman described a bombshell as, “someone who turns heads, lights up a room, and is usually a smart ass.  Oh, and has big boobs.”  I have to say I was a little surprised that the men that I talked to thought that attitude was just as essential to being a bombshell.  In the end they both referenced sex appeal as well, but it is obvious that to men a bombshell has oomph both in her bra and her personality.    

To be a bombshell is to be sexy. But there is a dilemma, to be overly sexy is to be undateable. As a curvy woman, you have to decide - would you rather be sexy and wanted, even if it is just in bed, or be considered undesirable?  Society overly sexualizes what it means to be born with breasts and hips.  Victoria’s Secret even has a bra named the Bombshel,l which adds 2 cup sizes to your shape.  

Marilyn Monroe once answered a question about being a sex symbol by saying, "A sex symbol becomes a thing, I just hate being a thing.  But if I’m going to be a symbol of something, I’d rather it sex than some other things we’ve got symbols of.”   You become a thing that people want to use and discard, an experience they must have. When you lead with sex, which is what bombshells tend to do, you eliminate the image of the girl underneath, the one who, above all, just wants to be loved.  A symbol doesn’t have emotions, but a bombshell isn’t a symbol, she is a woman.  

Am I a bombshell? Do I even what to be?  I have been trying to write about the modern day bombshell and my feelings about it for over a year. I guess it is hard for me to cope with my only viable options.  Wrapping my head around the idea of the bombshell, the fine line between a bombshell and a fat girl.  You either embrace the bombshell, or you embrace being invisible.  I was never meant to be invisible.
So, I hide behind the fake confidence of red lipstick and sky high heels and sway my hips when I walk because that is what bombshells do.  I smile, bat my eyelashes, and say flirty things.  I pretend like things don’t hurt me, because a bombshell is carefree.  Sometimes I wonder, am I being who I want to be or am I being who I think I should be?

As a bombshell, will I ever get the guy?  What is the saying?  You marry a Jackie and you fuck a Marilyn.  When does one stop being a bombshell?  When they are all used up and the light has left their eyes?  Who will want them then?  Who will want me?  

“Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt, and bewildered.” - Marilyn Monroe   

Monday, March 18, 2013

Skinny Day

As a perpetually chubby girl, my life is separated into two kinds of days - skinny days and everything else.  A skinny day is the type of day when you wake up and your skirt is looser, you have less backfat in your top, or you just feel more overall comfortable and confident in both your clothes and body.  A skinny day is a day that you actually like seeing your reflection in every mirror that you come across.   Last week I had a wonderful skinny day!  I tried on a skirt that had been a little too tight, and lo and behold, it fit just right.  My waist looked tiny, and even my boss told me I looked very nice.  

Anything can happen on a skinny day! When you feel good, then good things happen to you.  It is the kind of day when you say hello to the cute guy on the metro, or have a stranger buy you a drink.  It’s the kind of day when you make a new friend, kick ass at work, or have a hotty with potential ask for your number.  Life is full of infinite possibilities on a skinny day!    

My parents texted me, and told me, if my boss would let me off work,they would fly me home for Easter, no matter the cost.  My boss approved the time off, and I booked a flight home.  There are times when I miss the South, and most importantly, I miss my family.  My two nieces are growing up too fast.  I miss the familiar one-way streets of my small town, and the people I have known all my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I love DC and all that it has to offer.  I will never move back to my small hometown on the Mississippi River.  As charming and nostalgic as it may be to visit, I have grown beyond what it has to offer as a permanent home.  All the same, I am excited to be there for Easter, and that excitement helped build on an already wonderful skinny day.

My skinny day good fortune did not end there.  In my pursuit for everyday to be a skinny day, I went to Zumba with Lisa.  Lisa turned in her guest pass for a full-fledged membership to the gym, meaning I now have a permanent work out buddy!  My good fortune continuing, I got a $50 dues credit for referring her.  After our kick ass Zumba class, we went to the front desk so Lisa could arrange her free personal trainer session that came with her membership.  The trainer must be in need of clients, because he offered me a free session as well! You have got to love free things!  

A skinny day is the best kind of day.  For me, skinny days seem to be few and far between lately.  I am working to change that though.  Even though my body is nowhere near where I want it, I feel better about myself because I am going to the gym and trying.  Maybe I will never be as small as I was sophomore year of college ever again.  However, that doesn’t mean I can’t look beautiful, healthy, and even a little bit sexy.  

As y’all start your weeks, I wish you lots of skinny days full of confidence and possibility!