As I turn on my computer at work for the last time in my little cubicle, I am feeling things I never thought I would be feeling. I am happy, ecstatic even, to be moving on to a better job with a big raise, better commute, more vacation and more room for growth. I am also sad to leave some of the people to whom I have grown close and a job that was here when I so desperately needed one. This place made room for me when I had nothing, it brought the industry I grew up in and my passion together wielding them into something fulfilling. Unfortunately every opportunity has a ceiling; you can only grow so tall before you reach it.
I am also frightened. What if I am not as good as I think I am at what I do? What if, at the end of my 3 month provisional period, they decide to let me go? I know this is just nerves talking. I am sure on Sunday night I won’t be able to sleep. I have already picked out the perfect first day outfit, decided on how to wear my hair, and if I should wear lipstick or not. I will, as always, control the things I can about the day. It is like the first day at a new school, hoping and praying that you will fit in. but I have to remind myself that they picked me. I am who they want for this job, and they see something in me that tells them I can do it.
My career has taken many bumps and turns over the last four years, and I have ended up in places that I never thought likely. It reminds me of something my mom has always told me, “Man plans and God Laughs.” I may not be a highly religious person at this juncture of my life, but I am spiritual and believe in the power of prayer. I knew making the decision to leave my current job was a life changing one, and I prayed for clarity. Although I am nervous, and frightened about what lies ahead for me I have no doubts about my decision. I am coming around the next bend in the road of my life, and am ready for what lies ahead.
When I started this blog 2 years ago it was mainly about boys, and one in particular. This blog, much like my career, has taken many unexpected turns. While writing about my Tinder adventures and my heart breaks, my sexscapes and my insecurities, I found something, me. Between the lines of every post, in the space between my fingers and the keys I found a happier, more fulfilled version of myself. That is why I will continue to share the twists in my road with you, as my journey continues on.
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